I have to pinch myself a lot lately. I have been a writer my entire life but only now am I writing with earnestness and purpose, like my life depended on it, and I love it. I want to sing out, “I want to be a paperback writer” because, all of the sudden, I am a paperback writer! And now, on top of that, I am blogging about it too!
The reality is that I gained this new-found confidence when I finally became sober. When I was drinking and using drugs I was writing but I wasn’t able to keep my mind focused on what my calling was, I was too busy looking for the next fleeting high. Now that I am plunged into the depths of profound sobriety, my restless mind pounces on new ideas relentlessly. And, as one who was introduced as “my Grandson, the one with the vivid imagination”, I can’t help but see the world through a lens that is more convex than the concave glasses everyone else is peering through.
It is hard to explain how I feel, now that I have found my calling. I remember when I was a little boy and my dad used to say how much he loved his work, how he was always excited about it, and how it didn’t feel like work to him. As I grew older I envied him, and anyone else who had that experience, because I didn’t share the sentiment for most of my adult life. Let me be clear, I never hated my job. I just didn’t feel like it was what I was supposed to be doing. I felt that there was something much more important that I should be doing with my life than working for someone else. And now, having finished my first book and being well on my way with writing my second, I am loving every moment of it. The most amazing thing about writing, for me, is that I can spin off on tangents and follow rabbit holes and when I am done, as long as I come back to somewhere near the surface where I started, no one knows that it wasn’t a perfectly orchestrated writing technique that I had plan...
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